Dear Logan, Welcome Home

Oh my sweet baby,
Tonight you are finally home with me! Tonight you are finally right where you belong, with your dad and I, and the joy that comes with that is almost indescribable.

As we were driving to the hospital for the last time, I couldn't help but think of how elated I was that I got to bring you home with me, instead of having to once again say goodbye and drive home without you. I thought of how six weeks ago your dad and I were racing to get to the hospital to make sure you were okay, and how scared I was when I found out you were going to be here 10 weeks too soon. But when they wheeled you into my recovery room, and I saw you for the first time in your space like incubator on your way to a different hospital, I immediately fell in love with you. I loved everything about you, and I felt incredibly blessed that Father in Heaven entrusted you into our care. The only thing I could do was hold your foot because you were covered in tubes and wires, but I knew even with just being with you for those 2 brief minutes, that I would do anything for you.

It was a LONG six weeks at the NICU. But you are finally coming home to us weighing 5lbs 7oz. And just the sweetest thing ever! You're mom and dad are completely smitten with you! And are very much looking forward to watching you grow and progress. You're such a little fighter already and we very curious to see what you will become.

You were pretty tired your first day home, we've yet to really hear you cry, all you do is make these adorable little goat noises, that make your mom and dad laugh. But those little goat noises fill our home with so much happiness.

You're momma loves you, my sweet boy. Forever and always and no matter what. Welcome home my baby, welcome home!

Love,
Mom

Dairy Queen

SO...remember a few posts ago when I was discussing the whole milk thing and I had mentioned that the lactation consultant had praised me for my supply... Well in the NICU there is a deep freezer for any extra milk that the mom's may supply.

Every mom gets two bins.

Here are my bins.

Here are my bins along with every other mom's bins in the NICU...
"...Uhm...I've been turned into a cow...can I go home?"

One Month Later...

So...it's been a month. ...Well...no, now it's been over a month. 5 Weeks on Saturday. Tomorrow Logan will be 35 weeks, and we're still here. ::sigh::

On the up side...even though the days seem to crawl by...it doesn't seem all that long ago that we were "flying" from Wyoming to get to the hospital. No...that memory is so fresh it's like it was yesterday.

We're starting to get the hang of the NICU. I've figured out that all the so called "rules" are more like guidelines really, and the only thing that really counts for anything...is that I'm the Mom. Which pretty much means, I do what I want if I think it's best for Logan and no one can give me a good reason not to. (If they can give me a legit reason...then I'll comply to their way of doing things...if not...I'm the boss.)

This may make me sound snotty...but...I've been told by some very wise women that every GOOD mom usually gets a big "B" stamped in the middle of their chest from time to time while doing their job. And that job is to be their child's advocate. Which to some may come off as a bit witchy.

They have a thing here called "Primary Nurses" where you can pick 5-6 "Primary's" and when ever those nurses are working, they are working with your kid. That way you have some consistency, and more importantly your baby has some consistency. Well we have some WONDERFUL Primary's: Ruby, Laura, Denise, Kari, and Rebecca. And without even knowing it we picked a very "convenient" lot. All of them have 8+ years of NICU experience, Ruby and Denise are both Charge Nurses (meaning their in charge,basically, of all the other nurses), Rebecca is a lactation consultant, and comes in handy quite a bit, and Laura and Kari are just plain fabulous! It's kind of nice to have a couple of Charge Nurses in your back pocket. As soon as they got on our Primary's list, we got our own "suite" and we don't have to share with other babies/families. And today they have put in a request for us to even upgrade from that and get a room with a window!!! That's a big deal around here! They said we've kind of earned it after 5 weeks. It'd be nice to get out of our little cave. So here's hoping.

Logan is doing pretty good right now. He's catching on to the whole breast feeding thing really quick which gives his Momma hope, but he's still struggling to keep his stats consistent. He's quite the yo-yo sometimes.

But he's 5 lbs as of yesterday! So he's growing! And we're tickled pink about his progress!

Rub-a-dub-dub

Logan had his first bath on the 6th! He loved it, and I thought for sure he would cry do to being cold. ...I've come to find that it must take a lot for this kid to cry. I think I've heard him cry...3 times. ...maybe. I wonder if this is a preemie thing or if it's just Logan being a very tolerant baby. ...but I digress. Back to bath time!

I LOVED this! I loved stripping him down to his birthday suit and removing all those obnoxious monitors for a while! I loved watching him just relax in the warm water and just spending some good quality "real life" kind of time with my baby and his dad. LOVE Bath time!!!!
Brrrrr....Getting him dressed again after his bath. ...and putting all those dumb wires back on. :p

Dad getting him warm. Look at all that CUTE fuzzy hair on Logan!!! Augh! It's my favorite thing!!!

Got Milk?

Okay...so...us women...we deal with all sorts of C-R-A-P when it comes to our bodies. Starting anywhere from elementary to high school we have our monthly visits from Aunt Flow which may or may not be accompanied by mild to severe bouts of mood swings AND cramps. We get married and some of us have serious discomfort and issues during our personal time with our husbands. We then get pregnant...and all around less than fun nine (hopefully) months. During which our bodies are no longer ours, our modesty/personal space have long since been forgotten, and we have said goodbye to the bodies we once had. We than prepare for the "Marathon of Labor" which...isn't exactly considered a good time.

All of these things...we have to endure to get this amazing bonus prize at the end...

Exhibit A:TOTALLY worth it.

But why, oh why, does breast feeding (or pumping, in my case) have to hurt too??? I just don't think that's fair. It's the best thing for you AND your baby...and yet...we have to suffer through that as well? Can't we catch a break???

We knew that pumping would be in my future pretty much immediately after Logan was born, so we ordered one off of Amazon. And the next day a nurse asked us if we had one. We told her yes, and that we had ordered the Medela Advanced Breast Pump with On the Go tote. A high end pump...which cost FAR more than I ever expected to pay for a pump. She responded with a "Oh, yes, that one is really good. But...you're going to want something with a little more power."

Weighing in at around 35 lbs, created in 1955 and having industrial strength suction power...I'd like you to meet "Big Bertha".

THIS is what I get to wake up to 3-4 times a night, until my sweet little boy comes home. (You can understand my impatience to get Logan home a little bit more now, can't you?)

They have a newer...sleaker, digital version...which is actually quite nice, but even the NICU only has 2, they aren't really out there for public use yet.
But this one is apparently the caddilac of pumps. And it's real nice too. Not going to lie. All of us NICU mom's fight over who gets to use it next.

Pretty much my life is centered around milk these days. If we go anywhere...I'm usually pumping right before...right after...and typically during. We have to plan our social events around my pumping schedule. It's quite sad really.

On the up side, however, I am very grateful I have the milk supply I do. Logan does so much better because of it. He's packin' on the ounces these days! He's up to 4lbs. 9oz. A whole pound up from his lowest weight! The lactation consultant the other day praised me for the ample supply of creamy goodness that I've been able to produce. Kind of a weird thing to get complimented on, but strangely, it is a big morale booster to a breastfeeding mom to know that her efforts aren't in vain.

We're acquiring quite the stock pile in our freezer too. So hopefully I'll be able to keep up with demand once Logan finally comes home to us. And maybe his dad can take a turn or two waking up to feed him. ;)

...A Persons a Person No Matter How Small...

These are the first doors you walk into when you come to visit Logan at the NICU...I love the sign above the door.

And our little person is definately small, but we've hit a BIG milestone! Logan finally hit 4 lbs.!!! This is a big deal! I realize that still is half the size of a "small" full term Pack baby, but after seeing what 3lbs of joy looks like...4 just seems so much bigger!

I wanted to post some pics that we've taken just to show you how small are little one is. It's quite a shock to his family because...like I said...we're used to big babies around here! Grandpa Petersen bottomed out the scale at 14lbs. Uncle John was 10lbs. Cousin Tai was also close to 10lbs. So we're used to the adorable chubs...and little Logan is still working on getting some.

Week 1
Week 2

Week 3
Lovin' that 4 lbs of Joy!